


Catherine's Letter

by craterdweller



Series: Conversations [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s08e18 Threads, F/M, Gen, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:49:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22555867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/craterdweller/pseuds/craterdweller
Summary: Sam gets a posthumous letter from Catherine Langford. She decides to follow her advice.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Pete Shanahan
Series: Conversations [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1622911
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54
Collections: Genprompt Bingo Round 17





	Catherine's Letter

Someone rapped lightly on the door frame. _Not Jack._ He’d stopped his daily visits to her lab when she’d gotten serious with Pete. Sam rubbed her eyes and looked up from the report she had been writing. “Daniel.” She gave her friend a slight smile. He must have just returned from Catherine’s funeral.

“Hey, Sam.”

Sam puzzled at Daniel’s uncharacteristic silence, “What’s wrong?”

He bit his bottom lip, and Sam felt her ire rising. Everyone had been walking on eggshells around her, including her teammates, and she was tired of it. Sam noticed Daniel held a letter-sized white envelope. “What have you got?”

“Um, Catherine left this for you.” He handed it over.

“What is it?”

“I have no idea. Her niece gave it to me after the service.”

The envelope was sealed but addressed to Sam in Catherine’s neat scrawl. It felt light. She turned it over, but there were no other markings or indications of what could be inside.

“How are you doing, Sam? Is there anything you need?”

Sam slammed the cover of her laptop closed. “I need for everyone to stop treating me like I am about to break! I’m fine!”

Daniel took a step back, shocked at her outburst. “Uh, I’ll just leave you to whatever you were working on.”

Sam sighed. Everyone meant well. In the past few weeks, she had lost her father and broken her engagement. What she needed was the normalcy of routine. “Sorry, Daniel. I need to get this report finished for the general.”

Daniel frowned. “I need to go talk to Jack.” He muttered something that sounded like “That bastard,” as he turned to leave.

Sam knew she had to correct Daniel’s misconception. “Daniel, wait! You’ve got it wrong.”

“What? That Jack isn’t pulling his ‘head in the sand’ routine?”

“He’s not making any demands of me. In fact, the general told me to take some time off. Practically ordered me off the base.” Her shoulders slumped. “Home is the last place I want to be, right now.”

Daniel nodded. “Okay, Sam. I get that. Just, if you need to talk …”

“Thanks, Daniel.” She gave him a quick hug and locked the door behind him.

Perched on a lab stool, Sam slid a nail along the flap of the sealed envelope and removed the handwritten letter.

> Samantha,
> 
> If you are reading this, then I have passed on after a life full of adventure and love. I sensed a kindred spirit in you when we first met. A young woman in a man’s field, desperate to prove herself. I knew the struggles you faced, as I had faced similar obstacles during my own youth. Your intelligence, spirit, and warmth, bolstered me whenever I’d been tempted to throw in the towel and leave the whole mess to that idiot West.

_I’m glad you didn’t, Catherine. I had no idea you had been close to giving up …_

> I’m proud of you, Sam, and I have no doubt that one day you will be running the entire program. You inspire everyone around you to be better. I’ve seen the changes in Jack, Daniel, and I can only presume in Teal’c, although I regret not getting to know your third teammate better. Which leads me to my point. Remember what you told me when I thought it was too late for Ernest and me? “The heart never grows old.” Your words gave me courage, Sam, and I enjoyed every second of the brief time I had with him; Time that would have been lost if I had let my fears get in my way.
> 
> Samantha, don’t let the fear of being hurt, stand in your way. Professionally, I know you will succeed, but I fear that your past hurts will make you shy away from love. And then your heart really will grow old.
> 
> Don’t be afraid to take a chance with your heart.
> 
> Love always,
> 
> Catherine

Sam sniffed. First her father, now Catherine. _Was her love life that pathetic?_ She jumped at the firm knock on the door.

“Carter?”

 _Jack._ She swiped at her eyes and hurried to unlock the door.

He opened his mouth and then closed it before stepping inside and shutting the door. He looked slightly panicked. “Sam, are you …” He fumbled his words.

 _Oh, god. This was embarrassing._ Sam felt her cheeks tinge pink. “I”m fine, sir. I was just reading a letter from Catherine.” She waved the letter in his direction, hastily folding it before slipping it into her pocket. She would straighten the creases out later when she was alone. “Did you need something, sir?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, clearly discomfited. “Uh, the guys and I are going up to the cabin for a few days—fishing, and we thought maybe you’d like to come?”

Sam replayed Catherine’s final words in her mind. “Yes.”

“You probably—wait. What?”

“Yes, I’d love to go.”

Jack looked adorably befuddled. Then he smiled. “Well, okay then. I uh, should go do general-y things.” He practically fled, and Sam had to bite her lip to keep from laughing.

_He’s not going to know what hit him._

* * *

Jack had been silent for most of the drive from the airport, although Sam had caught the occasional sideways glance when he would change the radio station. She had asked the guys to make an excuse to travel separately so that she could talk to Jack, but she had lost her nerve. She chewed her bottom lip.

“Okay?”

She half-turned in the passenger seat and immediately felt guilty at his tense posture. Jack was worried about her. He probably thought she had been thinking of her father.

“Yeah. I’m good.” She half-smiled.

“So, Pete had to work?”

“What?” _Why would he ask about Pete?_

Jack rubbed the back of his neck, a clear tell that he was uncomfortable. “Sorry. None of my business.”

Sam frowned. Did Jack think she was still engaged to Pete? She could have sworn she’d told him. Or that Daniel had. “Jack, I broke up with Pete.”

The truck swerved as Jack hit the brakes a little too hard. He turned into a two-pump filling station and shut off the engine. Her cellphone rang, cutting off the question that was on his lips. He swung out of the cab slamming the door. Sam watched as he walked stiffly towards the tiny general store. Her phone rang again. “Hey, Daniel.”

“Hi, Sam! Teal’c and I are about to board the plane. Have you talked to Jack yet?”

“No. And I must not have told him that Pete and I had broken up. I’m not sure now is a good time…”

Her worry must have come through the phone because Daniel was quick with the reassurances. “Sam, Jack is worried about you. You know he loves you. He’s probably trying to give you space. Promise me you’ll talk to him?”

“Okay. Thanks, Daniel.”

“See you soon. Talk to him.”

Sam closed the phone just as Jack was placing a few bags of groceries behind the driver’s seat.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Daniel and Teal’c are boarding soon.”

Jack nodded and started the engine.

Sam placed her hand over his. “Jack, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Pete.”

Jack shrugged and pulled back onto the road. “We’re about forty-five minutes out if you wanted to catch a few more zzz’s.”

Sam closed her eyes and pretended to settle against the passenger side window. _Way to go, Sam. Now he’s closed up tighter than a clamshell. Dad, if you’re up there listening, I could really use your help._

She drifted into a fitful sleep, the stress of the last few weeks finally catching up to her.

* * *

Sam woke as soon as the truck came to a stop. She smiled. Only Jack would rent a pickup truck. She climbed down from the cab and looked around as she stretched her tired muscles. The rustic cabin sat amongst a copse of trees, the small pier perched on the edge of the infamous pond. It stole her breath. “Oh, Jack. It’s beautiful.”

Jack gave her a bashful smile, clearly pleased at her reaction. “Buck came by yesterday, so there should be hot water.” He grabbed three of the bags and swung open the unlocked front door.

Sam shook her head and picked up the remaining bag before following him inside.

“The bedrooms are down the hall. Take whichever one you prefer. The guys and I can sort ourselves out.” He looked down at his shoes, adorably self-conscious. “I’ll just go …” He bolted for the kitchen door before she could stop him.

 _Oh, Jack._ She poked her head into the guest bedroom. Two twin beds were against opposite walls with a wooden dresser between them. A bookcase with a child’s picture and a model airplane stood against the remaining short wall. Upon closer inspection, the two beds had been part of a bunk bed, confirming her suspicion that this has once been a child’s room. _Charlie_.

Sam set her bag inside the master bedroom. She ran her fingers over the homemade quilt that covered the king-sized bed and wondered if Jack’s grandmother had made it. She sat carefully on the edge of the bed, unsurprised at the firmness of the mattress, and wondered which side he slept on.

A door banged outside the window, startling Sam from her musings; Jack was testing the generator. She grabbed a change of clothes and headed into the bathroom. A modern jacuzzi looked out of place amongst the rest of the cabin’s rustic decor until Sam remembered walking into the SGC infirmary to find an irate Janet nagging Jack to take better care of himself. She wrenched herself back into the present. No time to get lost in memories. She’d take a quick shower and then talk to Jack.

Dressed in a comfortable sweater and jeans, she went in search of Jack. After a quick search of the other rooms, she spotted him from the kitchen window. He stood on the little pier looking out over the pond, his back rigid, as if he hadn’t quite relaxed yet. Sam grabbed two bottles of beer from the fridge before joining him.

She marveled at his body’s control as she watched the lightning speed in which he transitioned from relaxed to alert and back again on her approach. She frowned as she noticed a lingering tension in his back and shoulders. “Beer?”

Jack quirked a smile, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Thanks.”

They stood in awkward silence, watching as a bird swooped low over the pond before snatching a small frog and carrying if off towards her nest.

Sam fingered Catherine’s letter, glad that she had tucked it into the rear pocket of her jeans after she had dressed. It bolstered her courage to start this conversation. “I’m sorry. Can you ever forgive me?”

“For what?” Jack scuffed the toe of his boot on a loose plank on the pier.

Sam chuckled mirthlessly. “For Pete. For hurting you. For everything.” She swiped at a tear.

Jack laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. “You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam. You deserve to be happy. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”

Sam shook her head. “How can you mean that? God, I’ve been so blind. You’ve never been a safe bet. Gah!!” She took a large swallow of beer.

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Uh, Sam. Not that it is any surprise, but I’m not following that genius brain of yours.”

“Stop that! You’re not stupid. I hate when you put yourself down!”

“Okay, but I’m really not following you this time. Safe bet?”

Sam took a calming breath. Jack didn’t deserve her anger; Catherine’s words echoed in her mind. _Don’t be afraid to take a chance with your heart_. So she came clean, “When I was stranded on the _Prometheus_ , I—my mind conjured up all of you to help me. Teal’c demanded I stay awake, Daniel,” she chuckled at the memory, “bugged me to consider other possibilities, and my father, he told me I was playing it safe with my heart.”

Jack’s eyes widened, “And what did I tell you?”

Sam smiled. “Well, first, you gave me a pep talk.”

“And then?”

“You told me you were my safe bet. That as long as I kept my sights set on the unattainable, then I wouldn’t risk being hurt by someone else. That I deserved better.”

Jack blinked before his eyes shuttered. “You do deserve better, Sam.”

“NO!” She tugged him around to face her. “Don’t you see? I was lonely and feeling sorry for myself. I gave up on a man who never tried to change me. Who only wanted me to be the best me I could be. The only man who loved me unconditionally.”

“But Pete—you were humming.”

She wrapped her arms loosely around Jack’s waist. “Pete didn’t understand me. He was fun, at first. With him, I didn’t have to challenge myself to be better, because Pete didn’t know the real me. I could pretend to be what he wanted. And I kept blundering on, ignoring all the warning signs, because I was afraid.”

“Of?”

“Ending up alone.” She shook her head and dropped her arms. “I kept thinking that eventually, I would feel for Pete, what I felt each time I saw you. That I could get over my feelings for you if I only tried hard enough. Denial was so much easier.”

Jack stepped back and started to slip as his foot snagged the edge of the pier. Sam kept a firm hold on his arm, even after she had steadied him.

“Do you know what my father said to me right before he died? He told me not to let the rules stand in my way.”

“Sam.”

“He knew, Jack. And he was right. The person I’ve wanted, whom I’ve needed has been here beside me all along. And then Catherine’s letter...”

“The one you were reading yesterday?”

“Yes.” She pulled it from her back pocket and handed it to him.

Jack ran a finger thoughtfully along one of the folds. Sam wondered at his hesitation until he admitted. “I got one from her too.” He gave Sam the note Catherine had left for him. It said simply. “Talk to her, Jack. Before it is too late.”

Sam slid her hand into his. It was now or never. “Jack, I know I’ve really hurt you. And I don’t deserve you, and if you don’t …”

He cupped her cheek with his other hand, “Always, Sam.” But, instead of kissing her like she had wanted, he pulled her into a tight embrace.

 _He needs another nudge._ “Jack?”

“Hmm.”

“Which side of the bed do you want?”

“What?”

His look was befuddled, embarrassed, and oh, so adorable. Sam smiled sweetly. “And just so you know, I hog the covers.”

His eyebrows climbed into his hairline.

Sam placed a hand on his chest and felt his heart hammering away. _Time to explain yourself, Samantha._ “Jack, I asked Daniel and Teal’c to give us some time alone. This isn’t some strange manifestation of grief over my father. Definitely not a rebound from Pete.”

“Isn’t it? How can you be sure?”

Two car doors slammed, making them jump apart.

“Yoo-hoo. Anybody home?”

Sam rolled her eyes. Daniel’s timing really sucked. “Over here, Daniel.” She slid her hand into Jack’s, interlocking their fingers.

The archaeologist shot a pointed look to Sam before staring at the couple’s joined hands. “You were right, Teal’c.”

“Indeed.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know the stories are out of chronological order, but I decided to throw all the "Conversations" pieces into a series for my convenience. There will probably be others as they come to me.
> 
> Prompts: GenPrompt Bingo - The Elephant in the Room


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